DVD Review – Animals

Animals sleeve

Despite the fact it came on a shiny disc, was made in 2008 and stars actors from cult TV shows, I have to wonder if perhaps Animals fell through a hole in space/time from the late 80s early 90s and would perhaps feel more comfortable in a nice black Ex-Rental VHS box.

Jarrett (Marc Blucus) has a blue collar job in a run down town. His boss is a jerk, he lives in a trailer, his car is falling apart, life pretty much sucks. His only refuge is the local bar run by his best friend, who idolises him, and a waitress who has a crush on him.

Enter Nora (Nicki Aycox), a bad girl who comes into the bar one night. We can tell she’s a bad girl because she dresses like Madonna circa 1985, smokes, wears only black clothes, (mainly micro minis) and says “f*ck” a lot. Naturally she makes a bee line for the biggest loser in the bar, Jarrett, gets him to take her home and has wild bitey sex with him.

You’d expect him to get a nasty little rash at the very least from this encounter, but what he doesn’t realise is that there is an “animal” inside Nora, and when he bites him he too becomes infected. It’s never really made clear what sort of animal, Nora and her ilk are shapeshifters, but the shape they shift into is some kind of diaphanous wolf type creature.

Jarett, once bitten, doesn’t sling her out and instead allows her to hang around, having more sex, while he shifts between whining about his crappy life, being incredibly aggressive and upsetting the only people who actually care about him. If that weren’t bad enough, hot on Nora’s heels is Vic, her partner. We can tell Vic (Naveen Andrews) is a bad guy because he’s English, smokes, wears black leather and says “f*ck” a lot. Yeah this is a film of very broad brushstrokes.

Ultimately it all boils down to a battle of good and evil, light and dark. Jarett ends up with the waitress, who we know is good because she only ever wears white. It’s not a film that lends itself to close inspection. Which is a pity as it’s written by Craig Spector and based on his novel of the same name that he wrote with John Skipp. Skipp and Spector were part of the bratty splatterpunk school of horror writers of the 80s and 90s. Their best work is undoubtedly The Scream, a novel based around a Satanic rock band, which is still well worth a read. Animals was their last work, and seems a strange choice for a movie when we’ve trodden this well worn path many times before.

The performances are by the numbers, the special effects aren’t, and the plot twist is unsurprising. However for all that, this should make a great drive in movie, giving hot and horny teens just the right amount of sex and violence they require. The breast count is high, you get to see Blucas’ butt, there’s the odd hint of lesbian action. There’s plenty of gore too, including one fantastic death in a convenience store where blood and milk end up plastered on the inside of a chill cabinet.

Heads roll, breasts aplenty, four beasts, if this is your thing, then Joe Bob Briggs would demand that you check it out.

Animals was released on DVD by Chelsea films on 9th August

This post was first published at Blogomatic300 on August 10th.

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~ by moviegrrlreviews on August 21, 2010.

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